“You can never love another person unless you are equally involved in the beautiful but difficult spiritual work of learning to love yourself. There is within each of us, at the soul level, an enriching fountain of love. In other words, you do not have to go outside of yourself to know what love is. This is not selfishness and it is not narcissism; they are negative obsessions with the need to be loved. Rather this is the wellspring of love within the heart.” John O’Donohue
We all crave connection, but it cannot be on our terms alone. We are called to become relational, taking others into account as powerfully as we do ourselves. It means we go for the deeper communion that involves a kind of reverence for the people in our lives, while at the same time being so very true to our highest selves.
This is the terrain of the soul, and it is wise to have a guide if you’ve lost your way with each other. Each of you must become masterful in navigating the 3 stages of relationships, that modern people face if you are to create the new statistics about committed partnership.
My counseling specialties include:
- Resolving ambivalence and coming into full clarity about your commitment.
- Healing from an extramarital affair.
- Healing and transcending childhood wounds that interfere with adult intimacy
- Conscious communication that gives you the skill to create the relationship of your dreams.
- Skillful conflict resolution that supports safety and passion.
- Healing sexual ruptures and strengthening the sexual connection.
- Learning how to live a relational life.
- Courageous parenting that raises secure and emotionally intelligent children.
- Conscious uncoupling that leaves both people and all involved feeling whole.
I believe that you can keep a vow to love your partner and also keep your vow to yourself by having a conscious divorce. The is the work of uncoupling. This means no more blame, shame, or projection, but actually doing what it takes to drop all that and let go with love.
Our work with Kathleen was life-changing from which we grew individually and were able to emerge together in a thriving relationship. Before working with Kathleen we experienced seemingly random collapses in a relationship that were hurtful and confusing and lasted for days on end. We couldn’t figure it out because we really love each other, and it made no sense.
Thanks to Kathleen we now know that ruptures are not the primary problem in a relationship but rather the essential ability to repair the rupture in healthy ways that is key. Our ruptures often are now repaired in fluid conversation and relatively unnoticed.
Probably the most significant point about working with Kathleen was embracing that we couldn’t have the image of what we wanted. Rather, we could choose to understand the essential being in front of each of us and choose to love and be with that real person. Kathleen helped us find this gift. T. and T.
Kathleen has shed a lot of light into our marriage during our work with her, and made us feel more connected. She makes you feel comfortable, normal and heard. It’s amazing she wasn’t with us in childhood because she understood us so quickly. I’ve been frustrated in the past with the “ramp up” time that it seems to take with a new therapist. Several hours and dollars later you are finally getting to the meat and potatoes of the issues, but that was not the case with Kathleen.
I was also thrilled that my husband took to her immediately. It took a lot to get him onboard with the idea of counseling, so it was critical he liked and respected whoever we saw from the get-go and he did. Since working with her we resolve conflict more quickly and no longer go days without talking when we’re mad. I foresee us working with her for a long time to come. T. and K.
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