“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.” –Julia Cameron
As a business coach and spiritual teacher, my own process is my most powerful teacher. When I see one woman after the other struggle with claiming their worth in a very familiar way, I know that my personal difficulty is linked to a collective challenge to break out of the status quo and find a new answer to an old problem.
There are countless projects to implement as you create a freedom-based life doing what you love. There are many coaches teaching great techniques and approaches, but somehow, you may find these things are not working for you, in the same way you see some of the more successful women you know. Let’s face it, almost everyone knows at this point that what you believe and what you create are related. If you don’t take a good look and question some of those conditioned ways of seeing yourself and life, you are stuck with some very limiting scripts that are not going to allow you to create the freedom and abundance you truly want. You want to feel safe, permitted, worthy and deserving of all that you truly want.
If you are a multi-dimensional heart-centered woman who has meandered and wandered and wondered what your true worth is, while at the same time you have this enormous talent and capacity to help others, what I am writing here will help you take at least one step in the direction of stoking the fire of valuing yourself more so that you can make more money. You have probably undercharged and failed to promote yourself as you might have, because you don’t know how to articulate exactly what you do for people—–what they really get from working with you.
We are up against a whole lot of myths ladies! Oh yes, there are as many as there are unique talents, and I will bust a few of them here, all remnants of the old patriarchal way of thinking that separates, rather than connects, competes, rather than collaborates, and is afraid rather than loving. They are energies that become downright discouraging as you take a stand for not holding yourself back, and we are going for real encouragement, so let's bust these myths now:
Discouraging Myth #1: You either have it or you don’t.
Anyone (and who hasn’t) who has been subjected to the “I am better than you are” tactic, whether in their family of origin, or socially, will relate to the belief that leads you to see yourself as simply flawed. Something is missing. Other people have what you never will. You carry the vibration of not good enough. Believing this myth alone is enough to stop you from any great success you might have. Let it go!
The truth is that we are all so unique and different and some of us have intelligence or talent that is not “mainstream” or valued highly by the culture. Healers find that they may not be naturally great at business, but can learn, if they let go of the distaste for focusing on such matters. There is not an “in” club that innately knows it all. There are those who have learned how to allow abundance and joy in, and those who are at an earlier stage of that process, for countless reasons.
It is easy to point to rich and poor, educated and not. We cannot use external standards any longer. Some of the most joyful people in the world own 3 cows, and some of the richest are most afraid of losing it all. You must create your own clear standards for success.
Discouraging Myth #2: There’s not enough time and I’ve waited too long.
Oh, yes, any of you over 50 folks may feel this one very acutely. You may watch others enjoy success that you know you might have achieved, if you had been brave and thrown caution to the wind. Or maybe you have been a bit reckless, and lost a lot by not being more cautious. We see so much differently when we look back, and if we carry the vibration of regret, we will remain stuck in our old story….and we will be right, that there is not enough time to realize our dreams.
Now is the perfect time. Now is the only time. Now has no excuses for you not to show up fully. Your energy, not your age, is what is key.
Discouraging Myth #3: Really making it is just too demanding, too much work.
It’s easy to fall into this trap, especially if you have imbibed any of the marketing strategies that promote a more masculine way of achieving, and massive influencing action. I am all for exercising a good amount of healthy masculine energy of will and focus in my daily practice and work, or I would never get anything done. What does happen if I “push” past my natural need for down time, relationship time, and time to exercise and care for myself, is that I get exhausted and depleted and I get less done. I lose my edge by working this way, which is a change from my younger years, when I still had adrenal glands to abuse. I fall into the vibration of depletion.
I am in recovery now from that kind of striving, and live by the sweet words of Rumi: “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.“ In truth, underneath this tendency to pile too much onto your plate is the deep deep fear of not being safe and/or not being loved. It is always about safety or love. It is very primitive, related to survival and worthy of being recognized as a powerful force.
The real secret to give yourself the sense of love and safety that comes from doing what makes you happy. You must get to the point that you are not willing to compromise and hide parts of you for fear of disapproval, especially by yourself. If at heart you are a ukulele-playing, vegan, lesbian who votes Republican, then so be it. You will begin to feel really safe and really loved as you feel a sense of abundance and fullness within, of being able to stop and breath life in, as well as put out. This brings a feeling of natural joy which is highly magnetic, and is the most powerful marketing tool you have. It is the mojo that can actually help you get what you want.
When a woman declares her willingness to answer the call to live out her destiny, there are personal and collective forces that can be cleared so readily, if faced with an open and compassionate mind. The myths are invisible landmines, which can be disarmed when recognized, so you can step boldly onto the path of what you truly love.
